I have been abscent from "the blog" for a spell. My focus has been on broken hearts and jail time. What a cruel year. At one moment some people seem to be the most important things in the world. Then, suddenly, as quick as that impulse came upon you it is gone. I can barely even remember what it sounded like to hear her say that she loved me. I crawl back into time and search for others that I should've loved better and that actually were so much better. I can faintly hear them to. They don't really want to hear me now either. This desert is so dark as September stalks my window. I listened to a bit of WCPE Calssical station out of Raleigh-Durham this morning. I miss hitting the keys ... making magic out of the words. This summer was a total wash.
When it comes to the opposite sex I just can't catch a break. The Advance Man said I am still twelve years old trying to figure out how my dick works! Ha! Not that I don't no what to do in the sack ... it's just that I take it all to personal. The Advance Man said I should get back to basics. More writing. More Dark Desert. And believe me ... I have some tales that I will tell in the coming months. Sometimes the truth is stranger then fiction.
Drank heavy the last two nights. Trying to forget my woes. Caught a bad wrap on a DUI charge from last year. Finally convicted after fighting for 9 months. I am completely innocent ... lawyer fucked me. Won't be able to clear that smoke for another six months still. What a web we weave. Might make some new friends in county though ... 13 days.
Remember ... these are all creative confessions! It's all a work. My whole life has turned into one gaint, god-damn work! Don't take anything I say here seriously. But, perhaps, you should believe it all.
I don't know who you are ... and why you might be reading this ... or if your black, white, indifferent, congested, lonely, broken, broke, Republican, gay, racist, male, female, cat, dog, animal or mineral. But I am truly glad you are still with me. Besides a very lovely daughter that I still see on occasion, you are it. All I got left in the world is this. It's you and me now ... writer and reader. I know that we will stay friends even after the smoke clears. Thank you for listening. Stay tuned ... this is going to be the wildest ride yet.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
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