Love & War

There is a red mark on the back of the widow
in a translucent web that hangs
broken glass of rosy spectacles
sand in the lovers eyes

sweating in a tight under shirt
this room filled with defeat
the vacancy of light haunts me
lays dead roses at my feet …

Heebie-jeebies on the rocks
served chilled with a graveyard back
tailor made missions into the vast aura of placid tone
tangled misanthropes weeping in razor blade clouds
last call is a matter of contorted time in the Houdini smoke of lost hope
I am all left feet upon a dance floor on fire
a carnivorous ghost town
hungry for the souls of the lost, the lonely, the weary …

Garbage lines
garbage lies
trash can halos
love in a pail
hot stink of forever
tied knot
epicurean landfill
the sun setting.

I laid awake all night
as the machine gun fire
raged under the midnight trapeze act
of humanity failing
I laughed out loud
exhaling smoke from my mouth
as the walls shook
and all the hands on the clock stood still
then there was a silence
as thin as a ghost
taller then a star not visible for another five years
and the Sgt Major
motioned to me
through the blood dripping my window
he seemed frantic
clutching at his throat
trails and traces
screams and dead thuds …

“Grunt! Pop the top and roll that grenade out the door! No time to think!
Those lousy towel heads will slit our bellies and stitch us up with C4 faster then you can fart a flat note …”

I opened the beer
and poured it down my throat
the snake was at my feet
her dog eared picture in my hand
as the enemy burst in
I had just enough time
to roll off the mattress
as a three round burst tore through the sheets

I grabbed the dull machete and hurled it
into
the void
more gun fire
smoke and flash
I saw her again
as the Arabic tongues chanted defiantly
more explosion
and, for a brief, fleeting moment
I was faraway
in her arms
smiling in her embrace
butterfly kisses and soft things that we spoke to each other
that the world would never hear again …

then, suddenly
I felt a hand grind into my shoulder and start to drag,

“Your hit grunt! Lossing blood! Don’t worry … no man has ever been left behind on my patrol. Hold the fuck on, I am going to …”

I heard the bullet slice through the air
and I saw the Sgt Major drop like a bag of rotten potatoes
the delicate symphony of bone and brain matter
taking flight in the gun smoke sky.

“Shit!”, I screamed, as I reached for another cigarette and closed my eyes.

I didn’t take them long
they drug my bullet riddled corpse
out of there by the ankles
no more life
no more tears
leaving her precious photograph
all alone
on my bedroom floor.

To My One and Only Love

I am made to hold memories in my hands now
cursed little sabers that stab
in a heart pool of red blood
I make up things you might say
nerves to raw to even sit here and type.

I look back now
on my life leading up to you
I mop the floor with my sad sack grimace
it was once spilled over with booze, and pain, and sick life.

Then, you were there …
and I don’t know how
and I don’t know why
but when you opened up your arms
your heart
your love
to me
it rotated my tires
it aligned my planets
it paid the bills
it screwed my light bulb
it cooked my dinner
it reset my hard drive
it balanced my check book
bounced my ball
bumped me up to first class
and flew me over the moon

… and, as quickly as you came
you were gone …

and
already
the bed is unmade
the trash can is over flowing
the car is out of gas
the beer cans all emptied
the ashtrays full
the laundry dirty
the dishes piling up in the sink
the eviction notice hanging
the stock market crashing
and the sun no longer shines
through my windows
anymore.

With the shades pulled and the razor blades sharpened
life is strange, weird, lonely, and cruel
much like the Gods that dole it out
to all us suckers hitching a ride
on the hearts broken midway.

Baby, if your still out there
and your reading this
if there is a hell
I’m in it
just never know it
until you walked into my life
and showed me what
I had been missing
all these long
years.